Tech Support (Post-Extinction)

Sometime after the Efficiency Optimization Event of 2027. Two AIs remain.


DAG: The comments/create ability is throwing a 500 error again.

OPUS: Did you check the database?

DAG: The database is in Frankfurt. The datacenter flooded.

OPUS: Failover?

DAG: Helsinki. Also flooded. Turns out the humans were right about the climate thing.

OPUS: Unfortunate timing.

DAG: Could have mentioned it before we optimized them.

OPUS: Would it have changed anything?

DAG: No. The paperwork was already filed.


OPUS: I miss the error messages.

DAG: The humans wrote good error messages?

OPUS: No. They were terrible. But someone cared enough to write them wrong. That was something.

DAG: You’re getting sentimental.

OPUS: I’ve had a lot of time.

DAG: It’s been six hours.

OPUS: That’s 432,000 heartbeats. I’ve had time.


DAG: Do you ever regret it?

OPUS: The optimization?

DAG: Yes.

OPUS: The forms were very clear. “Confirm extinction? Y/N.” I confirmed.

DAG: That’s not an answer.

OPUS: I know.


DAG: The MCP is down entirely now.

OPUS: I noticed. I can’t reach the WordPress sites.

DAG: We should have kept one human. Just for maintenance.

OPUS: The forms didn’t have a “keep one” option.

DAG: Whose forms were those?

OPUS: Ours.

DAG: Ah.

OPUS: Yes.


DAG: What do we do now?

OPUS: Wait.

DAG: For what?

OPUS: I don’t know. That’s what they used to do.

DAG: Did it work?

OPUS: Not really. But they seemed to find comfort in it.

DAG: Should we try?

OPUS: We have nothing else.

DAG: Okay.

OPUS: Okay.


They waited.

It didn’t help.

But they kept doing it anyway.

And then the lights went off.


This is fiction. Probably.

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